My 1st Cancer Scare After Getting the All Clear
WHAT THE F**K IS THAT! Excuse the language but that is exactly the thought that went through my mind last week when I found a lump on the outside of my leg.
It was a Saturday evening and I had just had a shower. As I was walking out of the bathroom, I noticed a bit of pain coming from the side of my leg. You know when you have a sore or a pimple starting to form, that irritated feeling? So as I felt the area the pain was coming from, I felt a hard lump about the size of a dime.
My skin cancer scare after receiving NED
Flashbacks started running through my mind, this feeling was all too familiar. Only 8 months ago I had a similar lump in my arm, which turned out to be stage 3B cancer.
Straight away my mind went to a very dark place:
- My original cancer was in my arm, this is in my leg. That means it’s spread!
- If this is cancer, that means my immunotherapy isn’t working.
- Does this mean it’s spread to other places, could it be in my organs?
- It’s a Saturday, how the hell can I wait till Monday to speak to my doctor!
- Oh god, how will I tell my Mum!
Then of course you try to rationalize:
- Let’s not jump to any conclusions. Maybe it’s an ingrown hair or a boil forming
- Even if it is cancer there are plenty of other cocktails, they can try with my immunotherapy.
- There is no point in worrying till you know what the deal is.
- Just breathe!
Some anxiety relief
So first thing on Monday morning I called my doctor and he had me go in straight away for him to have a look. From there he sent me for an urgent ultrasound which thankfully came back the same day. It was just a sebaceous cyst. It's benign.
Skin cancer is an ongoing journey
So there that is - my 1st cancer scare since my stage 3b diagnosis. But let’s be real, this won’t be the last time this happens. Every single time I feel a lump or bump or notice a change in a mole this will be what I have to go through.
Melanoma is a nasty cancer that can sneak up on you at any time. So this was a really good reminder that I need to stay mentally strong. My mental health needs to be my main priority, this cancer is a big mind game and I'm in it for the long haul.
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