Learning to Speak Up When Something Feels Wrong

We often trust our doctors to know what’s right, and to make sure everything is perfect with our health. And, we should most of the time. But what about when something doesn’t feel right, or we are not confident in the way our doctors are treating or monitoring our skin cancer? It’s important to advocate for ourselves for successful care.

Heed your instincts on your skin cancer journey

We all realize that doctors know more than us about skin cancer, right? They’re the ones with the education, the background, and the specialty. But they are human, too, and they might sometimes overlook things or miss something important.

For example, when I had my first skin cancer surgery, it was done by a plastic surgeon. I might add that he did a wonderful job. You can barely tell I had anything done at all. Yet, for weeks after, I kept feeling something strange in the scar area. I was told it was just healing, which made perfect sense. Yet, it still felt like something wasn’t right, and I was correct. It was a stitch the doctor left in that eventually worked its way out, enough to pull it out the rest of the way. I told them what had happened so they would know.

Now, that wasn’t a big deal, but I was right. I knew something wasn’t totally perfect after my surgery.

Better communication might have helped my mother

My mother’s issues with skin cancer surgery were more serious and might have been resolved if she had advocated for herself. I was an adult at the time and remember she asked so many times if the surgery would leave her disfigured. The cancer was right by her nose, and on her nose. Her doctor promised it would look great when he was done.

Well, guess what? It didn’t. Until my mom’s passing, her nose was disfigured. She never had it fixed, and maybe that was because she had other health issues to contend with. But I remember I was angry at that doctor for telling her something false or for doing what he had promised. No matter what happened when he got into surgery, he could have at least addressed it with her and given her options on how it could be corrected. He never did.

Tips for self-advocacy and better treatment

Since then, I have learned how critical it is to advocate for myself for better healthcare experiences. You can do it too. Here are some tips I've gathered that can help you communicate more effectively with your doctor and get the care you deserve.

• Come prepared for appointments. My Patient Rights, a nonprofit advocacy organization, recommends taking note of when symptoms (or growths) first appeared, whether they have worsened, what you have already done to ease symptoms, and what makes your condition better or worse before your appointment. Make sure your doctor has access to any relevant test results and that you bring a list of medications along.
• Bring written lists of questions. That way you won’t forget anything you want to address. Be as specific as possible. You can even explain your questions to staff in advance of the appointment. Banner Health suggests keeping the list on your phone so you won’t leave it behind.
• Ask follow-up questions. This is especially important if you feel like the doctor misunderstood you, or if you don’t understand the doctor’s reasoning or instructions. My Patient Rights recommends using honest and specific vocabulary like, “I’m worried that we aren’t communicating well. Here’s why I feel that way. What can we do about this?” or “Are there other options?” or “Why are these tests/appointments/medications necessary?”
• Build trust with your doctor. If you trust your doctor, that’s a good start, and building rapport will get you better results. To do so, The Patient Advocate Foundation recommends being open and honest with your doctor about your habits and your lifestyle, asking questions, expressing concerns, following instructions, scheduling regular appointments, respecting your doctor’s time by coming prepared, and letting your doctor know if you are unhappy with your care.
• Know when to find someone new. Hopefully this won’t happen often, but there are times when it’s important to find another doctor, especially if your current doctor always rushes you or tends to brush off your concerns. If your doctor will not listen to you, despite your best efforts, that’s a good sign it may be a good idea to move on.