I Feel Alone, I Am Not Alone

It’s predawn and dark. I am walking down my street. I hear owls and crickets. I see headlights in the distance. I feel the cool, early autumn breeze on my face. I am alone with my thoughts and feelings. So much is going on inside my head: work, family, the house, the future, and skin cancer.

They don't understand skin cancer

I don’t feel like I have anyone to talk to. Sure, I have friends and family, but when it comes to skin cancer, no one understands.

No one understands the daily grind of self-examinations. No one understands the concern about that crusty spot on my scalp or that odd-looking mole on my leg. No one understands my almost hyper-vigilance in wearing sunscreen and protective clothing. No one understands why I don’t want to be out basking in the sun at noon. I feel alone.

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No one near me has it

I don’t anyone around me who has had skin cancer. I don’t know anyone around me who really ever gives sun protection and good skin care practices more than a momentary thought. I don’t know anyone around me who wants to hear about my struggles or my journey. I don’t know anyone around me who considers sun protection in daily planning.I don’t know anyone around me who makes vacation choices based on skin cancer concerns. I feel alone.

  • I feel like an odd ball, the square peg.
  • I feel like the weird, middle-aged (older) man on the block.
  • I feel like the death of the party.
  • I feel like a regretful, resentful, bitter person for past choices, mine and others.
  • I feel angry that others don’t seem to “get it.”
  • I feel alone.

What do I do with this? Do I clam up? Do I fold up like a cheap suitcase? Do I fall apart like a cheap suit?

This is my calling

No, after all everyone has their burdens. Everyone is facing something. Everyone has their “stuff.”

Why do I encourage others when I feel alone and empty? I do it because it feels like “my calling” in life. I do it because I can carry this burden. I do it because I can help others who feel alone.

Being alone doesn’t need to lead to isolation and desolation. Being alone doesn’t need to feel like darkness and crickets. I don’t have to accept the feeling alone.

  • I can find my support network.
  • I can find my “team.”
  • I can find others who have walked in my shoes and then danced in them.
  • I am not alone.

Finding support online

I may have to do some searching, but I can find support online. I can connect with folks using my phone or laptop.

I can find a local support group by searching “local skin cancer support groups” on my computer. I can engage others in meaningful conversation about my concerns and hurts, especially if I come from a positive position and shut down my “pity party.”

I don’t need to FEEL alone. I don’t have to BE alone.

It’s morning and light. I am strolling down my street. I hear blue jays and doves. I see the sun rise in the distance. I feel the cool, autumn breeze on my face.

I am alone with my thoughts and feelings, yet, I am NOT alone.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The SkinCancer.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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