Skin Cancer and Isolation

Sometimes I feel alone.

I feel alone because I am the only person I know in my offline life who ever talks about skin cancer. I am the only person who thinks about sunscreen and sun protection factor (SPF). I am the only one who wears hats religiously and slathers on so much lotion that the lotion gets in his eyes.

I am the only one who walks around in protective clothing. I am the only person who considers sun exposure when it comes to outings, excursions and vacations. I am the only person who has had cryotherapy, excisions, or biopsies.

I am the only one who has had melanoma.

More than skin cancer alienates me

I fear alone. I worry to myself and by myself. I am the oddball who is obsessed with ultraviolet rays and sun angles and shade. I am the overly dressed person at the beach at 5 pm. I notice every dot and flake on my skin. Every splotch sounds an alarm.

No one else around here gives it a second thought. I make a beaten path to the local dermatologist. I have to convince others to go there, too. I am the only one whose insurance company has had to put a limit on doctor visits.

Isolation sometimes gets to me. It’s not just about skin cancer either. I am also a co-caregiver in my home for a person with Alzheimer’s disease. I am the only person in my life who does this as well. When I think of going on vacation, I not only have to concern myself with sun exposure, but also with caring for a dementia patient. Skin cancer doesn’t often show up by itself. There are other things in play that isolate me and anyone else who fights the disease.

Distraction is key to coping

So, what do I do? On my worst days, I struggle with keeping it all inside. People don’t really want to hear me preach about tanning salons, sun bathing, sunburns and reapplying sunscreen. Oh, there are the occasional folks who listen or have their own skin concerns. On my worst days, I mostly observe and try to distract myself with hobbies, work and life.

Embracing who I am

Thankfully, my worst days are my least days. Even though I do feel alone, I am not alone. I have my online community, which always gives me a balanced perspective and encourages me. I have come to accept that my path will be rather unique to me. On my better days I embrace who I am, what I am, and my situation in life. What else can I do? Stewing does me no good. Being grumpy helps no one.

Though I have melanoma, I am blessed

No matter how this feels, I am blessed. I have it really good. I have more than 99 percent of the people in the world. I think everyone has their own thing that makes them feel alone. If it’s not skin cancer, then it’s something else. Most seem to overcome whatever ails them and I will be no different. It seems silly to me to complain about having to enjoy the beach in the late afternoon when there are people living in war-torn countries and in poverty.

Yeah, sometimes I am alone, but that’s ok.