A Skin Cancer Journey: Walking It Single But Not Alone

I recently read that 31% of the adults in the United States say they are single, and the article defined the term single as not married, living with a partner, or in a committed romantic relationship.

I am a single professional, and at this time. I have chosen to put my focus on my career and things that are the priority to me like my church, volunteer work, and two fur babies.

Single but with support

Despite the fact that I am single, I have a lot of support on my skin cancer journey from my friends, family, coworkers, and church family. I do not believe being single has negatively impacted my skin cancer journey, and I am happy with my life just with way it is.

The push to be in a relationship

Our society pushes relationships and couples as the ideal It is great if you meet someone you are compatible with and want to share a life together. However, marriage and long-term relationships are not for everyone.

Many people thoughtfully choose to be single. Maybe they are the product of a household with parents who had a dysfunctional marriage. Perhaps they were married at one time, but that marriage was an unhappy one. Maybe they were previously married, and their marriage ended in a bitter divorce and long child custody battle.

Our society likes to give the impression that relationships are positive and loving, but not all relationships are happy, healthy, or supportive. People often stay in unhealthy relationships for the benefit of their children, financial reasons, or any number of other reasons besides the fact that they are happy. Our society likes to play up the positive perception of relationships, like marriage, but you have no idea what goes on behind closed doors in someone else’s home. It could be positive, good, and healthy, or it could be abusive and an absolute nightmare.

My single skin cancer journey

I had my most recent skin issue in February 2022. At that time, I had two biopsies, and one turned out to be a severely atypical dysplastic nevus. In March 2022, I had an excision surgery.

During the February-March 2022 time frame, I momentarily thought, "I wish I was not single." If I was married or in a long-term relationship, that person would be so much support.

It was a fleeting thought. I am so blessed with friends, family, coworkers, and a church family that supported me every step of the way during my journey in February-March 2022. I had several friends offer to drive me to my surgery, and one close friend actually drove me the day of my surgery. My friend provided a lot of emotional support on that stressful day.

I had several other friends offer to go with me to subsequent dermatology appointments. My church prayed for me and over me on an ongoing basis for months. I had numerous coworkers, such as my boss, who stepped up to the plate and really showed me that they cared about me and what I was going through. One of my neighbors carried my boxes to my apartment for three weeks after my surgery during the time I had post-surgical lifting restrictions.

I had 100% support, and I felt so loved and cared for. For sure, a significant other could have added additional support, but that is not where I am at this time in my life. Moreover, I never once felt that I was lacking for support. Rather, I felt loved, cared for, and totally supported during my skin cancer issue in February-March 2022.

Embracing where you are

Do not let pressure from society to be in a relationship, such as marriage, make you feel that your skin cancer journey is lacking in some respect. We are all running our own race, and friends, family, coworkers, church groups, and other support groups can and often do step in and provide for those who are single. It is important to look at what you have in this life, not what you do not have.

Nowhere is it written that if you were in a relationship that your significant other would be understanding and supportive. Count the positives in your life, such as the support you have from others, and put your focus there. A single person on a skin cancer journey may not have a spouse or a significant other to walk beside them, but from my perspective, they are definitely not walking alone.

Are you single and on a skin cancer journey? Do you feel you are missing out, or are you fully supported and loved in your journey? Share your story.