Venting About Skin Cancer & Mental Health
I have posted here many times before about my anxiety and fear about my skin cancer and how this has taken over my life. I suffer from OCD and so I struggle with handling my obessions in a rational manner. OCD often takes what are rational concerns – health, safety, etc, and magnifies them in such a way that they become completely irrational. It isn’t like its sometimes displayed in the media. OCD is more often like a consistent hammering in ones mind that X is horribly wrong and that the sufferer must immediately do Y to try and correct the situation. This battle is one that I fear I am losing right now, which has little or nothing to do with the reality of dealing with any future skin cancer or other health issues, but more that I am losing the battle to handle my fear and anxiety and letting it run my life.
I am coming up on the one year anniversary of my first spot of basal cell carcinoma being found, quickly followed by a spot of squimash cell, and a second basal cell – all in a 3 month period. Since then I have not had any other spots found, though there have been a few precancerous spots frozen off.
My biggest issue is just reacting to any new spot that shows up on my body with the thought that this is the next spot of cancer and that it is going to be the one to metastasize or spread and that will kill me.
As I am in my mid 40s, I’m not young, but certainly hope to have several more decades of life to live. I mean, I believe that I am doing what I need to do to minimize chances of future cancer – regular doctor checks, regular dermatology checks, wearing sun screen, wide brimmed hats, sun shirts, trying to stay out of the sun at peak hours, etc, but this is still not enough for my mind. The greatest challenge for myself is the uncertainty of what the future holds. My mind generally views things as worst case scenario, which of course goes into overdrive with my anxiety and fear.
I can relate to your situation very well. My entire life has been taken over with thoughts of removal surgery. If they’ll get it all. If it will come back. How long surgery will take. How to handle bandaging on my back where I cannot reach. How to shower with bandaging. I’m hoping the plastic surgeon will discuss all of this but in the meantime it’s all consuming. Exhausting
I'm exactly the same I had to get a fairly big bcc removed from my scalp, I had to get a skin graft so I have a ugly skin graft on my scalp a bald patch, iv just found out the Excision was incomplete and I face further surgery on my scalp
My heart goes out to you. How frustrating that you have to go back for another surgery. Is the surgery scheduled yet? Please let us know how it goes. I'l be thinking of you and sending lots of healthy vibes your way. - Lori (Team Member) no I haven't had a date to see plastic surgeon /dermatologist yet but thank you for getting back to me it means a lot X
Sorry to hear that. It has been a year since I posted this and sadly I am still struggling with the mental health side of sc. I have been lucky so far and not had any further skin issues but I realize the odds are against me. I spend far too much time obsessing over sc and worrying about my skin. I hope that your surgery goes well and that you recover quickly.
Hi
. OCD is so misunderstood. I'm glad you explained it in this post. Several of my family members have it and they also get frustrated with the misperceptions and misrepresentations. Are you taking any medications that help or undergoing therapy? Gentle hugs. - Lori (Team Member)
Yes I am in therapy and on medication. It helps some but it isn’t a clear all. The hardest part is balancing vigilance with obsessive behavior.
It doesn't seem that there is any medication that is truly effective for OCD. I hope you keep trying to advocate for yourself and that you find strategies that help. Don't ever forget that we are here for you, too. Warmly, Lori (Team Member)
