It's Always the Quiet Ones, Isn't It?

Advocating for sun safe practices isn’t easy. If you have tried to convince family and friends to wear sunscreen, stop tanning, and stay out of the sun during peak hours, you may know what I’m getting at here. Some listen and some don’t. Some talk a good game, but you see the results of what they do when you aren’t around. Others listen kindly, give an understanding nod and go about their usual routine sans sun protection. Then, every once in a while, a quiet one slips by you. If you blink, you’ll miss them.

A friend of mine got a new job, and I was disappointed

I have a personal story to share. A few days ago, I found out that a friend started a new job in a tanning salon. To say I was disappointed was a gross understatement. This is a friend who knows my skin cancer story well. She knows about my numerous surgeries and has seen me in the throes of Efudex treatments. She is well aware of the negative impact of tanning beds, and her decision really threw me for a loop.

Jumping to conclusions

Pessimist that I am, I naturally assumed that she would not be able or willing to resist the temptation to use the tanning beds. I am a tanning addict and know from my experience that working in that environment would be too much for me. I didn’t see her being any different. My mind was made up, and I knew when I saw her she would have that pink glow to her skin and she would be sporting a tan despite all my warnings. I was armed and ready to have “the talk” again.

Maybe I was wrong

I finally got the opportunity to see her in person. You could have knocked me over with a feather. I choked on the words I had been preparing to share. She is as pale as I am! She doesn’t look as if she’s even attempted so much as a spray tan. I was truly stunned. Relieved, proud, and happy for her--but stunned. As the afternoon went on and random small talk was shared, she made a comment in passing that brought everything full circle. I heard her remark, “These women who come in the salon--you should see their skin. It looks like leather. It’s awful.”

Absorbing it all

All those years, she was the quiet one. I knew she heard me talk about my Mohs surgeries. I knew she gave me sympathetic glances when my face was raging with the side effects of topical chemotherapy. I was positive she saw my excision sites progress to scars. What I didn’t know was that she was absorbing it all--taking it all in and filing it away for later. Now, when faced with some tough decisions, she was using what she’s learned from me and others in her life to shun the tanning beds. I am truly happy for her. This is a decision that will follow her the rest of her life--and it was absolutely the right one.

What would you say to a friend who started working in a tanning salon?