Putting Yourself First

Melanoma is not just physical, it takes a massive toll on your mental health too. There is a lot of evidence to show that a positive mental outlook can help the physical healing process. But regardless of whether that is true or not, staying mentally strong during a melanoma diagnosis is essential.

Skin cancer and self-care

Self-care needs to be one of your highest priorities during this time. And no, that doesn’t just mean a face mask and bubble bath once a week.

One of the biggest things I did for myself early on in my diagnosis, was assess all of the relationships in my life and how they were impacting my mental health. Therefore, I had to have some VERY difficult conversations and take action in other areas of my life too.

Toxic friends

I started to distance myself from any friends who weren’t supportive of the positive changes I was making in my life and friends who were negative all the time.

Draining friends

One of the most difficult things I did was tell one of my closest friends who was going through a difficult time in her relationship, that I had to take a friendship break. I let her know that I couldn’t support her right now and I only had enough capacity to support myself. I had to be my own best friend. We took a couple of months off being each other's venting platform and it really did help. As a result, it took the pressure off me feeling like I had to be her support person and use up my mental strength on someone else.

Teaching family how to communicate

I also sat down with several of my family members to ask them to communicate in a way that was supportive of my mental health.

Get comfortable saying no

I stopped saying yes to a lot of the things I felt obligated to do. Life is short. When you sit down and look at all of the things you say yes to, that you don't want to, you realize all the time you are wasting! So I set boundaries, of course, I didn’t say no to everything. But I did say no to those parties I'd go to and count down the minutes till I could leave. And no to those baby showers that made me sad because kids may not be in my future.

Make a list

I sat down and wrote a list of all the things I wanted to do, be and achieve, it wasn’t a bucket list like skydiving or see a sunrise on Mount Kilimanjaro. It was more like; learn a new skill, do more of what makes me happy, practice gratitude.