Feeling Blessed

Hi, I'm new here. I am 50 years old. I am a mother, wife, and loves horseback riding. My story starts out with a wart on the side of my face. It had been there for a few months and getting bigger.

A scary diagnosis

So I went to the dermatologist and had it biopsied and a week or so later I got the call - it was cancer. Squamous cell carcinoma. Three of the scariest words I've ever heard! The doctor explained that the wart had cancer inside it. Which was rare but not impossible.

She gave me a choice of what I wanted, to have the topical cream or Mohs surgery. I took the surgery. I wanted it out of my body! She felt that we caught the cancer early and there was no hurry for the surgery. I was in a hurry, I was scared and wanted to get the surgery right away. The soonest they could get me in was a few months away.

Consumed with anxiety

Meanwhile, I worried, cried and worried again. “I have a 16 year old son with autism, and a deaf husband, what's going to happen to them?” I thought. Being strong in my faith, I prayed about it. "Lord, how do I tell them? Please get me through this.” I asked.

When I told them they were scared too. I tried not to cry, I told them that I was going to have surgery because I felt it was the right thing to do and I was leaving it in God's hands. They agreed with me.

As the months went by the stress was getting to me. My thoughts were terrible. I kept thinking, there is something in my body that could kill me! How deep is the cancer? What is my face going to look like? And so on.

Buried at work, exhausted at home

People at work were noticing a change in my behavior. I told my supervisors what was going on, they were very supportive. Some of my co-workers are very narcissistic and the others are gossipers. So I didn't want to say anything to protect myself. They pressed me, trying to get something from me to gossip about. I didn't say anything. So I buried myself in my work. When I came home each day I was exhausted, but I carried on.

Day of surgery

The day of my surgery came. I was nervous. I knew what to expect but I was still feeling uneasy. I went in and the doctor explained each step. Soon the first layer was gone. I was bandaged up and led into a waiting room. As I looked around all the people were elderly. I was the youngest in the room. Some people had bandages on their noses, some on their ears, others on the neck, the arms and hands. There were quiet whispers of conversation between people. It seemed like forever waiting to be called back.

Thanking God

Then my turn came. I was lead back to the room, sat and waited for the doctor. She came in with a big smile and said she got all the cancer. She said I was getting 2 sets of stitches. One for the inner “hole”, for lack of a better word, where the cancer was, and another to stitch up the incision. While she was stitching she explained the wound care, I really didn't hear any of it I was too busy thanking God.