Hi, I am hoping there is someone I can talk with as I am trying not to show my worries to my family. I go to the bathroom to cry which is pretty often.
I blame myself that I got into this mess. About one month after I gave birth (I was 41 years old) a tiny mole appeared on the side of my knee about 2-3mm, I noticed it because I virtually have no moles, maybe a handfull of what you might call freckles here and there. I thought it was just post pregnancy moles, because I also got skin tags and lots of cherry angiomas as well. Three years on, this mole never went away, I never found it suspicious because I am quite uneducated with regards to moles and melanomas since I never had any moles to begin with.
About a month ago I read up on mole melanoma and looked closer at my one mole. I became concerned because I had spent most of my youth in the sun unprotected. I am a dark haired but have light coloured mediterranean skin that does not burn so easily. I can probably sit in the sun for a good 30-40mins before I start to burn and even then, by the evening it will just turn to a tan colour. But as a young adult I have to admit I pushed my boundaries and have burnt myself several times.
I blame my stupidity and ignorance now and hate myself for it. So a few days ago I visited the dermatologist, while the mole never grew or bothered me, it caused serious visual concerns to the dr, who had it immediately removed and sent for a biopsy. She told me she doesn't think its melanoma but really, how does she know this? I have to wait 12 days for the biopsy results and I don't know how I can last until then. I am an emotional mess, I don't know how to cope. Every research I have done points to the fact that most likely its cancer and probably spread since I allowed it for years to sit on my legs it had a good chance to spread in my body.
I don't except anyone to diagnose me on this forum, just someone to talk to because I can't do it with my family. I just feel that while most people have regular moles removed my situation is different because I never had moles, but because of sun damage and this unique one popping up after the age of 40, so it must be cancer.